Wayne thinks I’m putting too much pressure on myself. I’ve been a cranky, worried mess. Maybe he’s right. I wasn’t planning to try to BQ at this race until the conversation on facebook this week turned to the others in my running group who are all trying to BQ together. I love my friends and would love to run the 115th Boston with them — but the truth is — I really don’t think I’m ready yet. It would be a huge long-shot. Holding my BQ pace for 13.1 miles is not the same as running it for 26.2. Usually you slow down, the longer the distance. It just happens.

I’m going to sit back and simmer on this for awhile — turn it over in my head while I’m in Boston. I’ll run there this week no matter what I do in that race in October. I think Anastasia is going to let me run the Boston course (how completely awesome is that?!!) Wayne said I should savor that run — enjoy the scenery, soak it up and not worry about the race in 6 weeks.

He asked me last night what my gut is saying. I told him my gut said I should shoot for sub 4:15 since that’s still a huge improvement over the 4:57 from last year. I never underestimate the marathon distance. No matter how strong I feel or how well I’ve trained — the distance, and the way you feel in the last 6 miles is something you can not entirely control. It deserves respect. I’m going to take a few days and just think about all this. I’m not sure I’m ready to push so hard. I really think I’d smack hard into the wall much earlier if I set an unrealistic goal — and that could very well mean an even worse time overall than if I’d just ran at a pace I knew I could do for the distance. Hmmmmmm

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