It’s raining today. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow. Robie Creeks’ on Saturday – and nearly the entire run is on a dirt road up and down the mountain. Ummmm – MUD!  Let’s see how this weather pattern continues. I may have to nix the costume if it doesn’t get better. It would be hard to slog up a hill with boot covers on if it’s pure muck!

I’m now down to the real taper — only two itty bitty runs this week before the half on Saturday, then two itty bitty runs next week before the 50K on the 24th. I’m getting SCARED!  My legs felt like heavy lead pipes yesterday. I just didn’t have much pep left. I kept thinking, “Really?! I just ran a crazy amount of miles last month and felt great, but now you two can’t handle a measly 13 miles?” I probably shouldn’t criticize my legs like that right before a race — seeing as how they could rebel on me at crucial moments like – after the gun goes off — but I couldn’t help myself. Mentally, this is discouraging. It did occur to me that I’d gone a little overboard with the protein and naughty food the past few days (I had a steak on Friday, a Big Mac, fries and a Coke on Saturday afternoon, then Pizza Hut pizza Saturday night.) I know!It was like I dove into a huge pile or red meat and grease over the weekend. Then, we slept in the tent in the backyard on Saturday night (it was SOOOOO cold and the kids woke up every half an hour uncomfortable about it, until Wayne and I ended up with four people in our sleeping bag that was designed for 2. ) Anneliese and Savannah were so cute snuggling up with us. The only problem was that I didn’t get much actual sleep and I had to lay on my side so that we’d all fit – and normally that wouldn’t have been an issue, but laying on an air mattress, on your side, apparently really strains the lower back. Well, apparently it strains MY lower back.) I was so achy when I got up to run Sunday morning. I just hobbled out of the tent, threw on my running clothes and took off – with that overweight hydration belt pushing down on my aching hips.

I panicked a little when I got back and told Wayne how bad I’d felt on the run. I kept thinking, “Just a couple weeks ago, I was playing air guitar at mile 24! What’s happened to me? Suddenly I’m weak, worn out and cant’ seem to pull off a sub 10 minute mile in a medium run. 

I “know” it’s probably just that stage of the recovery of the taper where I’m supposed to feel like crap! I “know” that the rest I’m getting is good for me at the cellular level and that the end result “should” be stronger, fresher, springier legs. I “know” I haven’t neglected my training and that I’ve done a really good job of doing what I’m supposed to be doing for months now — but emotionally — I’m freaking out a bit! One minute I think, “I could have pushed SO much harder out there! I didn’t give enough and now I’m paying for it.” The next, “Oh no.. I overtrained! I totally overtrained! Now I am going to be too worn down at both races and I’ll just drag my feet – and what if that means I can’t find the strength to FINISH?!”  See? Taper Madness has started now hasn’t it? Someone quick! Call a Sports Medicine Specialist! I’m SURE I have an incurable illness!  (called INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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